By Maureen Pranghofer

Though my eyesight has been up and down at various points in my life for all practical purposes, you could say I’ve been blind since birth.  I consider myself well adjusted, independent and confident in my abilities.  Yet at the age of 57, I am still finding that my perceptions of things are often incorrect.

These are some of the things I’ve discovered and how I’ve found out about, what to other people who have had vision, are simply normal parts of life.

Talking to People — The only time I can recall my family ever talking to me about something I did because of blindness was when I was a senior in high school riding in the car with my father.  He was talking about something and I was quietly, attentively listening.  “Did you hear what I said?” he asked.  “Yes,” I said.  He then informed me that people generally look at other people when they are talking.  It was something I’d never thought about, if I could hear them and responded I thought that was good enough and was not aware that people intentionally look at others when they are speaking. 

How People Drive — When I was in college a friend and I were hitchhiking back to the dorm after bowling, a hobby we both enjoyed.  She said something casually about the fact that we needed to be in the other lane.  I asked, “What do you mean lane?”  She acted as if I were nuttier than a fruitcake, not understanding what she was talking about.  Later I explained that I had assumed when people drove they simply went around whoever was coming.  I hadn’t realized how lanes worked on the roads.

Tipping — In my 30’s I was at a business luncheon with a colleague in Los Angeles.  It was the end of a meal.  He watched me get my credit card out and casually remarked, “Blind people are so cheap.”  I was taken aback and somewhat insulted.  “What do you mean?”  I asked.  “Well, they never tip.”  I had to admit no one had ever told me about tipping, how to do it, how much to leave and apparently I wasn’t the only blind person he’d run into who had this problem.  I didn’t admit it to him but quickly spoke to my husband about tipping and got that dilemma squared away.

Thumbs Up — After not being able to walk for many years I have recently gained newfound mobility and am starting to use a walker.  My sister-in-law was congratulating me on walking down a few steps and getting on their pontoon boat — something I had not physically been able to do for over a decade.  “Thumbs up” she said.  I had heard the term before and promptly put my thumb up.  But it wasn’t the way sighted people do it, and the others in the group laughed at me and then physically showed me how to do the gesture.  This was just a recent discovery on my part.

Leaves on Trees —My husband and I were out for a walk when he said something about the leaves changing.  I asked what phase they were in and he was puzzled.  I explained my understanding of the trees changing their leaves to the Fall colors before they fell.  It was my understanding that every tree was green, and then its leaves went to yellow to orange, to red, to brown and fell off.  It was then that I learned that not all trees go through every color; that the color depends, in part, on the variety of tree.

As you read this you, if you’re sighted, might think I’m strange or weird.  That’s okay.  If you’ve always been blind you might be going, “I didn’t know that.”  My point is that as long as we as blind people have misconceptions and incorrect assumptions about the world around us we will stick out like sore thumbs.  We will seem weird or strange and our chances of living in equality will be reduced.

Here are some ways that we can overcome this mismatch between what is and how we perceive things.

Parents — Explain everything.  Verbally tell your blind kids what you are doing.  Physically show them.  Encourage them to ask questions about where, when, why, how, what.  Ninety percent of what people learn comes to their brain visually and children generally learn by watching their parents and copying their actions.  My parents didn’t do this, but you can.

Friends and Colleagues — Don’t worry about offending someone because you notice they are doing something sighted people would never do.  I’m so glad my coworker made the crack about blind people being cheap.  We need honesty from our sighted peers.

Blind People — Ask questions.  Inquire about how things are, don’t do as I have done, and make assumptions.  Sometimes, like my assumptions about driving, our lack of information gained through vision is wrong.

We live in a wonderful world where there is lots to learn for everyone and the more we can interact with family, friends, and each other the more we can be people who don’t stick out but fit right in.